Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Eric & Lindsey's List Of Things Not To Say

I like to see the humor in every situation, no matter how bleak. So today Eric and I compiled a list of things NOT to say to an infertile couple. If you have said these things to us or any other infertile couple, most likely they hurt, but we understand you are just trying to help or really don't know what to say. Your forgiven! :)

1. Just relax! - OH REALLY? That is all I have to do to have a baby? Wow, I wish someone would have told me this 3 years ago! (While stress can prevent ovulation, it is rarely the cause of infertility for so long.)
2. But your still young, you have lots of time.- How long are people going to say this to us? Is there an age cutoff for this comment? Having lots of "time" is not going to cure infertility!
3. At least you are getting a lot of practice *wink,wink* - Haha, akward...
4. My cousin/sibling/friend/etc couldn't get pregnant and then they did (insert procedure) and they had a baby. - And that helps me how? I know, I know, you just don't know what else to say.
5. What drugs are you on? Oh... I heard this and that works better. (Meanwhile, no correct drug names are cited) - When did your get your PhD? I guess you know more than my OB/GYN and my REPRODUCTIVE ENDOCRINOLOGIST. Surely they don't know what they are doing.
I had no problem getting pregnant, whenever I wanted a baby, I had one. - Thanks. Would you remind someone who had a terminal illness how healthy and vibrant you are? I think not.
7. Trust God, His plan is always best - This is 100% true, and I would never deny that. But it is not comforting! It is easy for someone to say, when they are not in the middle of a spiritual and emotional battle!
Complaining about your pregnancy - Were you not aware of what you were getting yourself into when you planned on getting pregnant? Did no one tell you there would be some discomfort invoved? I would give ANYTHING to be experiencing those things. It is a blessing, and you should be thanking God for every sore stomach, every twitch of pain and every stretch mark!
. Just enjoy your time alone before you have kids- Minimizing my pain? Nice approach...

I just read a great blog post, it explains my feelings very well! Click here to check it out. There is also a great site where that blog post got many of it's ideas from. Click here to check it out. There are some things on their lists that are not on mine, but I can totally relate to everything they say. I wish I could print those out and give them to all my friends and family!


Jobina said...

thanks for posting this Lindsey. I was in church today and a friend of mine was sharing with me about their infertility struggles...I remembered this post and tried my hardest to just listen and empathize and not say anything stupid. I hope I succeeded.

Anonymous said...

AMEN SISTER! You said it all!!

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