Home For A Week!

I have so much to write about and so little time to write about it. It is amazing how a tiny little person can take up so much of your time!

The hospital stay was great. Our first night our nurse was very nice, but she was not very helpful with breastfeeding. They had to check his blood sugar a few times because it was on the low end. The nurse would let me try to get him to latch for a few minutes, and then get us to feed him formula. I barely slept that night, mostly because he was swaddled and I kept worrying about the blanket being over his mouth.

It was hard for me to sit up in bed, and I was still hooked up to IV and urinary catheter so getting out of bed wasn't an option. Eric had to get up and get him for me every time.

We had a lots of visitors in the hospital, it was nice and helped to pass the time. Every nurse I had after the first was was EXTREMELY helpful with breastfeeding. The second nurse I had got Tallet to latch right away, and every time after that.

Midway through the second day I got unhooked from everything. It was SO nice to be free!

Our second night was a lot smoother, still didn't get a tonne of sleep but more than the first night. I had a student nurse the third day, and in the morning she told me if everything went good we could go home that day. I was surprised because I assumed that I would have to stay 3 days with a c-section.

At around 4, after Tallet had a 45 minute feeding we got to go home. It was scary taking all the responsibility home. We made a quick stop at Babies R Us to get a nursing pillow and some no-scratch mittens. Tallet slept all the way home!

Our first night at home was rough. I had assumed I would get at least a couple hours of sleep, but I didn't get any. All Tallet wanted to do was nurse, he barely slept. They say the "cluster feeding" is supposed to happen the second night, but he saved it until the first. I wished we had stayed in the hospital. I wanted to call my mom. I didn't know what to do and I felt overwhelmed and inadequate.

We have been home for a week now today, and things are going alright. It is still hard to believe that this sweet little boy is ours, but at the same time it feels like he fits right in.

We have had a lot of visitors bringing food and gifts. The support has been great, but sometimes it makes it difficult when I am struggling to feed him under a cover. We have had a few good nights and a few rough nights. We are still trying to figure everything out.

Breastfeeding is going alright, but not as good as I could hope. It often takes me a while to get him to latch on properly, we often have 10-20 minute periods of "latch, suck 3 times, cry, repeat" which are frustrating and discouraging for me. It feels like I am not doing something properly. And then sometimes he will only eat for 5 minutes then fall asleep. It is especially bad at night when I just want him to have a good, big meal so he will sleep. Sometimes I think switching to bottle-feeding would be SO much easier, and I would just pump. But in the long run that would be a lot more work. And I know I am only 1 week into it, and they say it takes 4-6 weeks to establish breastfeeding, so I will stick it out. I am looking forward to the day it is easy and pain-free!

Tallet is learning to sleep in his bassinet, which can also be a challenge. Sometimes he will sleep really well in there for several hours, and sometimes he wants nothing to do with it. Again this is something that is frustrating for me, because I very much want a baby that is able to sleep on his own. And there is SO much advice out there, it is hard to know what is the right thing to do.

He goes through ALOT of diapers. He will not sleep or eat with a dirty diaper (I don't blame him at all), and sometimes it seems like he dirties one right after we change one. We are using cloth diapers, but only have 8 that fit him so we go through them pretty fast. All the other ones I have are too big and it leaks through them, and these are newborn sizes! I didn't realize I would have such a tiny baby. So half the time we are using pampers, but we really like our cloth diapers!

It has been a long week, and I am still very tired, but it has been a dream come true week! I am so incredibly thankful that God has give us Tallet. He is so much sweeter and so much cuter than we could have ever imagined and we are totally in love with him. We waited for so many years for him, and he is perfect.  God is so good.

Tallet's Birth Story - Part 3 - Recovery

Shortly after meeting my little boy, I got to try to feed him. It didn't turn out so well, but I was glad we got to try. Eric made lots of phone calls, most of which were tearful. It was adorable. He hates when I bring it up. 

I was very groggy, but I felt good. I felt MUCH better than when I went in for surgery. I was no longer overheated, and the painful contractions were gone. 

I was wheeled into another recovery room where I stayed for 5 hours. Tallet was with me for the first little bit. I got to try to feed him again. Eric took some pictures to show our families and he went for lunch with everyone while I recovered.

I was exhausted, not sure if it was from the surgery or labor or no sleep for two nights. Probably a combination of everything. I got to try to feed Tallet again, but it wasn't good either. 

At 2:30 they took him to the nursery to have something to eat and to get bathed while I continued to recover. At 4 the nurse helped me wash up and took out a few IVs. I got to brush my hair, which was nice. They said I was recovering really well. My doctor popped in to say hi and to tell me that she was not as worried about me as the anesthesiologist was, but they were going to keep a really close eye on me for the next day. 

They finally wheeled me to my room at 5 where my mom, step dad and brother were waiting with Eric and Tallet. They stayed for a little bit, but then Tallet had to go get weighed and his blood sugar taken. 

Eric's family came in after mine left, and when Tallet got back to the room Eloa got to hold him for a little bit, but then it was time for skin to skin time with me. 

I was still extremely tired, but it is the most amazing and surreal experience to be cuddling with a little boy you waiting and prayed so long for. He had arrived safely and is healthy. God is so good and has blessed us with this beautiful miracle. 

When I reflect back on this labor, I am surprisingly not disappointed about having a c-section. I thought I would be totally crushed if I ended up having to get one. But with all the events leading up to it, I know it was the right decision for us. If I am disappointed in anything, it is that I got that stinkin' infection that screwed up everything. I wish I didn't have to do that, but I don't know how I could have prevented it. I think I gave it my best try at having a natural, drug free birth. I feel like I had the really intense contractions for a longer period of time than normal. It was like I was in the transition phase of labor, supposed to last 1-2 hours, for 12 hours. I hope that if we are blessed with another baby, I can try an all natural birth again and my body will co-operate a bit better!

Tallet's Birth Story - Part 2 - The Hospital

Walking to the delivery room was a challenge. I had several contractions along the way that caused me to stop and grip onto something to stay standing. All I wanted to do was lay down.

Everything after that is kind of a blur and it is hard to remember when every event happened but I will try.

I layed in the bed for a while, trying to relax and breath through the contractions. The nurses told me my pain medication options and I said I didn't want anything. The offered the tub and the shower to me, so after a while I decided to try out the shower.

Getting to the shower was a chore because any movement triggered another contractions and it was so hard to do anything while having one. The shower felt great and I stayed in there for probably 45 minutes. I used the washroom right after and had several contractions while I was doing that. It was very uncomfortable.

I got checked and was only 4 cm dilated. I was disappointed because my contractions were so intense I figure something should have been progressing faster than than.

When we were reading and preparing for labor, I remember looking forward to having Eric rub my back during contractions. But once I was having them back rubs did not feel good, so Eric couldn't really do a lot to help me.

People had told me that in-between contractions you get a break and have no pain. I did not experience that. The pained dulled between contractions, but did not go away. The nurses remarked how they couldn't believe how intense my contractions were naturally, that they only usually see contractions like that with someone on the oxytocin drip.

I was very thirsty the whole time and drank ALOT of water. The nurses said I was doing a good job handing the contractions because I was breathing through them and a lot of people hold their breath. This is probably part of the reason everything is a bit of a blur, because I was so concentrated on breathing through the pain.

My heart rate was high and the nurse was very concerned and wanted to put an IV in. I would have liked to avoid that, but I wasn't going to be stupid about refusing something I needed. It took them 5 tries and 3 different nurses to get an IV in.

I don't really remember the order of things after that. But my blood pressure was high, temperature was climbing and turned into a fever and they put me on the monitors with straps because they were concerned about the babies heart rate during contractions. I remember taking a pill for my blood pressure and tylenol for my fever, neither of them helped.

The next time I was check was like 3 hours after the first time and I was still only 4-5 cm dilated and my cervix was starting to swell.

At some point I had a urinary catheter inserted and an internal monitor placed on the baby. It took 4 or 5 people to get my urinary catheter in, and a couple to place the monitor properly. I also had blood taken because they were concerned about an infection.

I remember feeling helpless while all these things were being done because I didn't have a clear mind to ask questions about them, I was so focused on breathing through and handling the contractions that remained 1-2 minutes apart.

I did not want to use any drugs for this labor, but after not progressing much and my cervix swelling and some prodding from the nurses I dedided to let them give me some fentanyl. I hoped it would help me relax through the contractions a bit more so my body could relax and my cervix could dilate further. The drugs took the edge off the pain slightly, but barely did anything.

Shortly after all these interventions I was moved into the high risk delivery room. The nurse in there was kind of mean and asked me multiple times why I didn't want an epidural. Every time she would give me more fentanyl she would try to convince me to have one, but I kept refusing because I still wanted to try my best to deal with the pain.

I was checked again and I was 7 cm. I was excited I had moved along a bit more, so I continued to deal with the contractions for another 4 hours. I remember Eric reading to me for a while, I don't think he knew what else to do. It did help me to relax.

I was checked again around 8 am and I was still 7 cm and my cervix was still swollen. I was so discouraged and disappointed that I hadn't progressed at all in 4 hours of intense contractions. The nurses and doctors that came to check in on me were already talking about C-sections which I still really wanted to avoid.

At some point I was told I had an infection and they gave me IV antibiotics.

My doctor was on call that morning, and I was told she would come to see me soon. My nurse was trying to convince me to have and epidural, and I was starting to consider it. I heard the nurses talking in their side room that my only chance of a vaginal delivery was to have an epidural. With MUCH hesitance I decided to go for it. Their reasoning was that it would help me relax and hopefully help my dilate. I told the nurses I wanted it, and they said my doctor was coming soon and I could talk about it with her.

It was such a relief to see my doctor when she came. It just calmed me down a lot. She said we were heading in the direction of a c section. When she checked me she said that the baby was facing the wrong way, which could be a reason I was not progressing because baby's head was not fitting into my pelvis properly enough to dilate me. Contractions were mostly painful in the lower half of my abdomen and my pelvis. I felt like I had to take a gigantic crap. The nurse tried to tell me it was the baby's head, but I told her I was POSITIVE I had to go to the washroom. She said when the dr checked me she would check for stool, and sure enough when she did check there was nothing there. I am sure they hear that all the time.

Anyways, my options were c-section or to try some oxytocin to make the contractions strong so I could dilate. I could not imagine them any stronger or being able to handle them, so I said I didn't want to do that without an epidural.

I waited for the anesthesiolgist to come talk to me about my epidural. As soon as I decided to go of the epidural, I was VERY impatient about getting it and it seemed like it took forever for him to get there.

When he arrived the news was not what I expected. He informed me that while an epidural is a low risk procedure, I was at high risk because I had an infection. He refused to do an epidural for me and said I was at risk for ending up in the ICU because of the infection I had. If I needed a c-section, it would have to be under general anaesthesia.

This scared me and made me really worried about my own health. My doctor came back in and said that we had to decide between a c-section and trying a bit longer with some oxytocin. She said baby was still doing well and that is why we could still try for a vaginal birth, but because of how I was doing she highly recommended going for the c-section.

At this point I was 12 hours into contractions that were 1-2 minutes apart, I had an infection, pretty much every vital sign was elevated, it was a no brainer to go for the c-section. Eric was in charge of making decisions for me, and even he was ready for me to have a c-section. It took us about 2 minutes of talking about it to say yes.

In 20 minutes I was in the surgery room. I was laying there just hoping they would put me under already so the pain could go away. Eric was not aloud to be in the room because I was under a general anesthesia, meaning I was right out.

I woke up feeling MUCH better, despite the surgical pain, to Eric tearfully telling me we has a little boy who weighed 7 lbs 9 oz. Minutes later I got to see him, and he was perfect.

**I will continue about recovery from surgery another day!**

Tallet's Birth Story - Part 1 - Before The Hospital

**This is a real birth story, so if you don't want all the dirty details, stop reading now**

Everything started with my prenatal appointment on Thursday. We packed and planned to stay the night in the city even by dropping my dogs off at my aunties. There was a craft sale on Friday I really want to go to. And I was hoping I would go into labor.

My blood pressure was still high at my appointment, so my Doctor recommended to do an internal check and if I was dilated enough she said we could do a membrane sweep. I wanted to avoid being induced in any sort of way, but I figured this was the most natural way and if it worked that would be great. I was 3 cm dilated and she did do membrane sweep and said there was a "very good possibility" that it would get things going.

My appointment was at 12:40, and because we had planned to stay the night in the city we had nothing else to do for the rest of the day but wait around. Eric need to get jeans so we decided to go to the mall and walk around hoping it would get things going. I did feel crampy already, but wasn't sure if it was because of having my membranes stripped or because something was starting.

We walked around the mall for a while, and then I decided I should probably walk a bit more so we went to Walmart. I went to the washroom in Walmart and learn that I had definitely had the bloody show/ lost my mucous plug. We walked around Walmart for a while and I figured I was having contractions but wasn't sure. I was tired go walking and hungry so we decided to go to my cousin Jo's where we planned to stay the night and order pizza. On the drive there I knew for sure I was having contractions, but they were very mild.

I sat on the couch and knit all evening, contracting every 6-10 minutes, sometimes longer. I thought for sure we would have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night. I didn't sleep a whole lot that night, and contractions stayed 6-10 minutes apart all night. I was scared to sleep because I didn't want labor to stop like it had before!

I decided to go to the Scattered Seeds craft sale after all, hoping that all that walking would get things out. We walked there for about an hour, I didn't find a whole lot that I wanted to buy.

We decided to go to the mall to grab some lunch from the food court, it was PACKED there and I ran into a couple of my aunties so we had lunch together. One of my aunties offered that we could go to her place to hang out for the afternoon. We walked around the mall, I bought a brush because I had forgotten mine and I wanted one for the hospital. Contractions seemed to get a bit stronger but nothing too close together.

I was starting to get kind frustrated and discouraged at this point. I had been having contractions for nearly a full day, and no progress (this seemed to be the song of my whole labor). We decided to go to my aunties to hang out. We went for a short walk there and then I napped for over 2 hours. I am SO glad I did!

We had an awesome supper at Moxie's, after which we planned to go to the mall to walk around some more and go see a movie. After our delicious supper at Moxies' I got up to leave and felt a few small gushed. I looked at Eric and told him I thought my water broke, and he didn't quite believe me. I didn't really believe it myself!

I went to the bathroom to check, and my pad I had on was quite wet but I wasn't sure if it was still the mucous plug or water. We went to the mall to walk and my contractions were a solid 4 minutes apart. I had a couple more gushes and figured we should probably head to the hospital now!

We got to St. B and when I got out of the car I had a huge gush of water, soaked my pad and my pants. I knew this was it!

It took some time to find the right place to get admitted, and we got admitted and I got checked. It was quite disappointed to hear that I was still only 3 cm dilates. The nurse told me she couldn't admit me yet and wanted me to walk around for an hour. I had a few very strong contractions while I was there.

I tried to walk around, but I had contractions that were so strong and so close together I could hardly move. We found the early labor lounge and I used the washroom and had contractions that were about 1.5-2 minutes apart with next to no break in-between. Eric tried to convince me to walk again, so we tried. I got a few steps out of the lounge and decided I couldn't do it. I couldn't walk more than 10 feet in-between contractions so I decided to wait out the hour in the lounge. It was awful having those contractions in a chair.

I waited out the hour in there, and asked Eric to go see if I could get checked again. They didn't even bother checking me, I got taken into a labor and delivery room right away.

**Time for bed today! I will post part two another day!**