Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I booked an appointment at Heartland for January 28th. Dr. K said he wanted to see us back after the 9th cycle, or if we are pregnant. So by the 28th of January, I will either be done cycle 9, or pregnant, and either way I need that appointment. I am really glad I scheduled it now, because his next available appointment was January 10th. If I had left it until the end of cycle 9, we probably wouldn't have been able to get in until March! I just don't want to waste anymore time waiting around for an appointment. I feel like I am running out of time.
Monday, November 29, 2010
My brother, Korey, is 10 years old today! I remember the day he was born like yesterday. I am so thankful to have him as a brother. For years I hoped and prayed for a sibling, and I was thrilled when he finally came along. He is sweet, caring and kind and I have passed my love of animals on to him! Yay!
Today we drove up to the island for his birthday, and no one knew we were coming. They were very suprised and Korey was super excited that we were there! It was fun! We just stayed there for a few hours, but I really wanted to share his special day with him!
Love you buddy!!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I have discovered one of the best inventions ever. The ThemaCare Heat Wraps. You know how you just want to lay on the couch with a hot water bottle or heating pad when AF comes for a visit? This is like a tiny heating pad that you can wear around for 8 hours! They are glorious, and I can't believe I didn't try them sooner. They are $9 for a pack of three, but I think it is totally worth it!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Today I tried out a lip balm recipe. It is called Honey Kisses. I used honey and beeswax from Dahlen's bees! So far I think it turned out pretty good! But it still has to set properly, so we will see!
It is easier this month, I think because I didn't get my hopes very high and I was not so obsessed with charting/temping and OPKs. It was much less stressful when I didn't have to worry about that stuff every day.
I am still crushed. Every failure brings me a little closer to the reality that I might never be pregnant. That is a very scary thought, and I have tried not to think too much about it. I still have hope, this is no even close to over yet. I am still convinced an IUI is what we need.
Make that three times, thanks TLC! LOL
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
We have been blessed with the challenge of infertility.
In the beginning, infertility seemed much more of a curse than a blessing. But God has been revealing to me that indeed, it is a blessing. This verse from the last post really hit home.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) – “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Wow! I need to be thankful no matter what struggle I am going through because it is God's plan. God is in control!
I am thankful for the challenge of infertility because:
- It has brought me closer to my husband.
- I am aware of what millions of other couples have and are going through. If I wasn't experiencing this myself, I could have easily turned into a person that made insensitive comments to people who are struggling with infertility.
- I will appreciate my children a whole lot more than if I didn't experience this. Honestly, there is a strong possibility I would have complained a lot about it had it come easily. God knows us a lot better than we know ourselves!
- This has forced me to rely on God and want Him to be the center of my life.
- I have a better relationship with God, and a better understanding of Him. I was a whole different person 3 years ago when we first started TTC, and I have to say I like today's person a lot better.
- I wasn't ready to be a mother 3 years ago, now that I look back.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
It is really hard for me to see people being ungrateful. Especially when it comes to pregnancy/kids. It is like it is a surprising fact to find out that pregnancy is uncomfortable, labor is painful and parenting is difficult. Yet I am not innocent in this. There is SO much that I am ungrateful for, and I pray I can change that.
Psalm 107:1 (NIV) -”Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) – “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Colossians 4:2 (NIV) – “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”
Colossians 3:15 (NIV) – “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
Psalm 69:30 (NIV) –“I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.”Mmmm, those verses are delicious! They are my prayer!
Friday, November 19, 2010
I will come right out and admit it, this started out with the infertile in me being upset about what some mothers said. But now that I have been thinking about it, and talking about it with people, it really applies to everything!
The comments that got me thinking about it were "I am so proud to be a mother" or "I am proud of my kids". Especially those copy and paste Facebook status'. When I told Eric that he rolled his eyes, and you might too, but hear me out.
Is it really ok to be proud of anything? Doesn't God tell us time and time again not to be proud, but to be humble? After all: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud". 1 Corinthians 13:4
Eric tried to argue with me that boasting was not ok, but pride was because there are different. But that verse says that love does not boast and is not proud! So even if they are different, neither is a loving thing to do.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom
Pride is hurtful. It hurts me when I see or hear those comments. Makes me think:
Why are you proud of that?
Isn't it God who blessed you with the ability to have children?
Should you instead be thankful of that blessing?
Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word."
God is responsible for all the good things in life. If we are going to boast about anything, it should be about God and what He has done for us.
2 Corinthians 10:17-18
Let him who boasts boast in the Lord. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.
I am guilty of this in other areas of my life. I know I have boasted about my husband a lot. But I still have many friends that are waiting for their Mr. Right (or Mrs) to come into their lives. How does that make them feel when I go on and on about my wonderful husband when they are so longing for one of their own? Probably not very great. Probably hurtful. My husband was a gift from God, not something I deserve or can boast about. I am SO thankful God has blessed with with him. If it weren't for God, I wouldn't have Eric, so all the glory is God's.
Another case is my dog Paris. She is a fantastic at agility, and I was proud of her. Very proud, and I boasted a lot about how good she was. How would that make other people feel with dogs that are much harder to train? They work so hard with their dogs, but aren't seeing the results. I would be discouraged!Instead I should be thankful that God blessed me with a dog that is easily trained, healthy and willing!
Also, I was very proud of myself when I was able to run for 20 minutes. But what about the people who can't walk, who are in wheelchairs, who have no legs, who have back injuries? How would me boasting about that make them feel? Instead I should be thankful that God has given me two legs that can run, and lungs that can handle it!
So lately I have been very aware of my pride and boasting. I am choosing to thank God more often. It has made me realize how many things there are to be thankful for. Sometimes I get so down trodden because of infertility, it seems like I have been blessed with nothing. But the opposite is true. I have many, many blessing to be thankful for, and need to be thinking of what I do have instead of what I don't have. Definitely easier said than done.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
So here is before, of course it looks way worse because it just came out of a pony tail and my bangs out of a bobby pin!
And after! I love the color. I was born with dark hair, and I like it best that way! Thanks God. :)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Speaking of hockey, I am going to try it out! I have always wanted to play hockey since I was little, but I haven't had the chance. Travis sold me some skates last year, and this weekend in Steinbach I got them heated to mold them to my feet and some insoles because they really hurt my arches! I am hoping it won't hurt too much to skate. This Thursday I am going to practice with the girls team in Riverton. I am so nervous. I have NEVER worn equipment before and I have only skated with a stick once! I am prepared to fall alot, and to be embarrassed. But hopefully after a few practices I will get the hang of it! If not, then at least I gave it a try!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I am blessed enough to have a job that is sending me to the conference in Orlando. So yes, they are paying my way. And we plan to use Air Miles for Eric's flight. Weare hoping to get the passes for Disney World either for Christmas, or use Christmas money . And we are going to scrimp and save any extra money we have, which won't be alot. But even if we can only go to Disney World for a day, I will take it! I have dreamed of going there since I was a little girl! When I was younger I always watched my friends go, and then I got to hear about how much they loved it, knowing I would probably never get to go there until I payed my own way. I had a choice between Orlando or Las Vegas for conferences. I really have no interest in going to Vegas, so Orlando was an obvious choice!
I am so thankful for this opportunity. It gives me something to be excited about in the near future. It is a welcome distraction from all things infertility.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Yep, just like the ticker says. In 2 months, 5 days I am leaving for Orlando where I will finally get to go to Disney World! I have a Veterinary conference in Orlando, so I will be "working" for 5 days, but there will be 5 days left over to do fun stuff! I can't even believe this!
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Thursday, November 04, 2010
I am in a rough spot right now. Everything seems to be going wrong. It feels like we just can't get ahead. Some of it is because of bad decisions we (well, I) have made and some of it is out of my control. Nonetheless, I really feel like God is shaping me right now, and boy, does it hurt. I am hoping and praying I come out of this a better person.
As for bad decisions, I have failed miserably in the financial portion of life. Let's be honest here, we are pretty broke. We do make enough money to pay our bills and stuff, but I have badly managed my money for too long. I have begged Eric to manage our finances, but he doesn't really want to. I confess, up until about 6 months ago I had a "Buy now, pay later" mentality about money. What a huge mistake. I am not any further ahead, in fact, I am quite behind. I have a whole lot a debt and not a whole lot to show for it. I am also guilty of just buying whatever I want, whenever I want it. I never really had any restraint or budget.
About 6 months ago I started using BudgetTracker.com to keep track of our finances. I made a budget on there, and I can add transactions one at a time and select the catagory for it to go under. I have tried using spread sheets, but that makes it really hard to keep track of every transaction you do. I LOVE Budget Tracker. It is so easy to use. It was exactly what I wanted and needed. I think I paid around $40 for a membership, and it is worth it.
We used to live paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes I couldn't pay bills on time because I was waiting for the next check to be deposited. But now, instead of tracking my money and bills in my head by seeing how much is in our account, I go by how much is left in our budget on Budget Tracker. It has been a saving grace, so to speak. Now we always have enough of a balance in our account to pay our bills on time.
We had even managed to get some money into savings, but now that is gone thanks to vehicle repairs. And we still have other bills to pay and more repairs that need to be done to the vehicles and to the house. We just don't have the money for that stuff, so I decided to pick up as many Saturday shifts as possible. That means I will be working 6 days a week. I will also be doing as many Partylite and Lia Sophia parties as I can book (PLEASE have one for me). I got us into this mess, so I am going to try my best to get us out. Eric has also been doing some extra jobs here and there. These repairs have been needed for a long, long time( I haven't had electricity in my bedroom for probably over a year). We have just been putting them off because we didn't have extra money for it.
I am starting to realize that maybe God won't let us have a baby just yet, because He knows we can't afford one until we get this stuff under control.
My prayer is that we will learn to be good stewards of the money God has blessed us with.
Yes, I have learned things the hard way. Seems to be my favorite way to learn things.