Monday, March 11, 2013

A Big Purchase & A Big Decision

I bought this today.

The pain was not going away. The only medication that helped a bit was diflucan, and my doctor refused to give me anymore. After 4.5 months of dreading feeding my baby, I couldn't do it anymore.

I feel a lot of guilt about this. I feel like a huge failure. This was a very hard decision for me, and it will take a few days for me to see if I am happy with it or not. Full time pumping will be a lot of work, so now I have added more work to my plate. Now I have to wash bottles, etc. I am definitely not excited about that.

I am going to exclusively pump for a week or two, and then maybe try again to feed him once I have had a chance to heal. 


Brittney said...

Oh friend, easier said than done but please don't feel bad/guilty! 4.5 months is a wonderful amount of time. And you ARE trying to breastfeed - that's admirable and incredibly beneficial for your baby boy! If it makes you feel any better we used the pump from the start, that way I got a break once in was nice having my hubby feed our baby sometimes. Also cleaning the bottles wasn't so bad, you get used to it and I eventually didn't even think about it (we breastfeed for a little over a year). I'm sure I've mentioned this before, please pay no attention if I have!;) but have you heard of/tried a nipple guard? This really helped control my pain. In fact I really had hardly any and used them regularly. They work like a nipple on a bottle but attach directly to your baby loved them and they worked well for both of us. Just a thought:) Keep up what you're doing though, Mama - you're doing a GREAT job!!

Lindsey Dueck said...

A nipple shield is the one thing I haven't tried yet, maybe I should? I would feel bad spending all this money on this pump if that is all i needed all along!

Sarah said...

DON'T FEEL GUILTY!! Do what you and Tallet need to be happy, healthy and thriving. It means different things for different people. I used a nipple shield at the beinning of G nursing, and it got him to latch, it might be worth trying. Just an aside, I wish I could get a nursing break... even if a nipple shield works for you you might still want/need/ask for a break and so pumping might still be a great thing for you. There is so much pressure out there to nurse and nurse and nurse, but I don't think nursing or not is a measure of being a good mom or not being a good mom! Oh and I really want to come visit sometime... I miss you!

Lindsey Dueck said...

I miss you too Sarah! It feels like FOREVER since we have hung out!

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