Monday, March 26, 2012

11 Weeks

Size of baby: Fig
Total Weight Gain: 4-5 lbs or so. This is a major cause of stress in my life. I have gained more weight than I want to already. I am super worried about this. After years and years of trying to loose weight, it is surprisingly hard to accept the fact that I have to gain weight.Why can't fat just magically convert to energy for the baby, and then I don't have to gain any weight! Seems logical to me, but not to any of the books I have been reading!
Continuing symptoms: Tiredness, congestion, breast tenderness (less than before),round ligament pain when I cough or roll over in bed fast, some nausea.
New symptoms this week: Nothing really new, in fact I feel like there has been less symptoms. This worries me a lot.
Maternity Clothes: There is no way I am going to be able to wear my normal shirts for much longer, they are getting short! I need to invest in some basic maternity t shirts because I am starting to feel uncomfortable in my regular clothes but I don't want them to look too "maternity" at this point.
Sleep: I sleep great. I get up once every night for the washroom, but I think this had become more of a habit than a necessity.
What I'm Eating: Not what I should be eating, that for sure. I am still eating lots of fruit, but the other stuff in-between isn't that healthy, thanks to the cravings.
Cravings: Chocolate and candy,
Special pregnancy moments:
Being so close to 12 weeks! I really can't wait to see the baby again, really want to know how baby is doing, because not feeling pregnant enough worries me! I am hoping at my first prenatal appointment on April 12th I will at least get to hear the heartbeat via doppler. After being so sick last week, I just want to know that this baby is ok!

This week I had a bit of a breakdown. I am not really sure what triggered it, probably the realization that my clothes are not fitting great. Then I read in all the pregnancy books that there should be no need for maternity clothes at this point. And then someone had said to one of my friends they were worried about me "eating for two" my entire pregnancy. And maybe a few people commenting about how I already have a baby belly. And throw in people checking out my stomach to see if I look pregnant yet (YES, people, I notice that).  All this piled up together just left me feeling like a huge, ugly pig that is going to gain 100 lbs. I was so angry at myself for not loosing weight before this pregnancy. Angry that I won't be a cute pregnant person. Angry that I won't be able to take those adorable weekly pregnancy pictures because no one will be able to tell I am pregnant for at least a few more months. I am embarrassed that I need to wear maternity clothes already. 

These feelings totally caught me off guard. I always thought being pregnant would give me a "free pass" to feeling fat. That I wouldn't care about how I big look. I couldn't have been more wrong. I am *SO* hoping these feeling of mine will change once I am far enough along to feel the baby move and the books tell me it's normal to have a belly. I am sure part of these feeling are due the fact that I don't really feel pregnant yet!

I hope you don't see this as a complaining post, because that is not at all what I am trying to do. I am crazy thankful that I am pregnant, and if it means I feel fat and ugly for 9 months, than it's worth it! I wouldn't trade it for anything! Plus I have an amazing husband that will NOT let me believe those things. He makes me feel beautiful even when no one else does!


Stacey said...

Awe, don't listen to the books :) I had a baby belly at like 7 or 8 weeks! It was crazy. And I had people telling me it must be twins, because I shouldn't be so big already. It's not necessarily a bad thing to grow more gradually. Some women have nothing and then BAM, they grow super fast and get tons of stretch marks. I definitely still have my fair share of those though, lol. I just grew very gradually.

Also, feeling better around this time is perfectly normal. Second trimester is usually a great time with feeling good, and just growing that baby! I can't believe you're almost there!

You can do this, Lindsey :) Oh, and sometimes the cravings for sugary stuff can be curbed by eating some healthy fats. And I don't know if you've had any morning sickness, but I've heard that anything very high in protein is excellent for that. If only I had known that when I was pregnant!

Sorry for the novel!

Kara Lynn said...

I felt the same way to when I was pregnant! The feeling goes away, don't worry! Praying for you and Eric, by the way, don't worry about what people say or what you see in the mirrior! You look beautiful!! I know it hard to ignore espically if you have dealt with weight all your life ( like I have) I hope things get better! xo Kara.
ps, need someone to talk to, or vent to, I have a listening ear! :)

Sarah said...

Lindsey I just want to encourage you to get past these rough weeks. I think most pregnant women don't like how they look/feel at this point. I know I was getting more chubby, and soft, and finally at about 16 weeks it changed, my stomach got more pregnant feeling, making me feel way better. It will happen where your stomach gets hard and pregnant, but it takes time as baby grows!! Before long you will be at the stretched out, post pregnancy stage (I only wish mine could go back to being pregnant hard) but your baby will be keeping you too busy to care! :)
I hope you hear the heartbeat on the 12th, we didn't until 16 weeks, but clearly we have a busy boy to show that he was just fine in there! I can't believe how fast your first trimester has gone!! YEAH!

Lindsey Dueck said...

Thanks so much for your encouragement ladies! :) It means so much to me, you have no idea!

I cannot wait to have a hard belly! I think it will be so neat! I can definitely feel it getting firmer when I press on it.

I need to check out that pregnancy diet you sent me a link to Stacey, and I do need to figure out what helps me curb these sugar cravings!

Melissa said...

i still have sugar cravings... sometimes eating sweet fruit like strawberries helps.though i don't really care too much as long as i am eating healthy otherwise. don't worry if you need to get maternity clothes already... i kinda thought people were lucky to be able to do that so soon. :)

Anonymous said...

Chin up sugar cause I love u. U are always a pretty girl and a great tech! Maybe a walk and sunshine and fresh air will help. I know I am not pregnant and can't image that but I know I don't feel well f I dont exercise or get sun. It will be ok. Cor

Jobina said...

You will be an adorable pregnant lady with a beautiful tummy! Right around 10-16 weeks I always felt fat and worried that I wasn't really pregnant and didn't fit my regular clothes but maternity clothes looked a little silly. It's one of those stages that needs pushing through unfortunately.
Please don't punish yourself for whatever happened already food-wise, just stock up on fruit and veggies and healthy food, drink your water and get some light exercise in, you can slow down the weight gain and do it in a really healthy way. I would often have stuff in the house for a healthy treat but I'd only allow myself one serving a day. Somehow the anticipation made it feel like I was "cheating" :)
Oh, and I just had a thought, if you're looking for maternity clothes and find something on kijiji, let me know and I'll pick it up for you :) You don't need tonnes, but you need stuff that you feel great in.
I'm so happy for you Lindsey, all this is really just a (((((BIG HUG))))) and wishing you a JOY filled pregnancy!

© diary of a crazy person. Powered by