Saturday, November 20, 2010


I guess this has a lot to do with my last post.

It is really hard for me to see people being ungrateful. Especially when it comes to pregnancy/kids. It is like it is a surprising fact to find out that pregnancy is uncomfortable, labor is painful and parenting is difficult. Yet I am not innocent in this. There is SO much that I am ungrateful for, and I pray I can change that.

Psalm 107:1 (NIV) -”Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) – “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 4:2 (NIV) – “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

Colossians 3:15 (NIV) – “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

Psalm 69:30 (NIV) –“I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.”

Mmmm, those verses are delicious! They are my prayer!


Jobina said...

I can kind of see where you're coming from Lindsey, but I have a problem with sentences like this...
"It is like it is a surprising fact to find out that pregnancy is uncomfortable, labor is painful and parenting is difficult."
Why would you say that?

Lindsey Dueck said...

I figured someone would have a problem with that sentence. I just really hate to see people complaining about such a wonderful blessing. For the most part people know what they are getting into when they get pregnant/become a parent, so WHY are they complaining about it?

My mom once described one of her complaining pregnant friends like "She thinks she is the only person in the world that has even been pregnant", and that kind of sums it up for me.

I know I have never been pregnant or been a parent, but I am well aware that it not going be simple. No one promised having kids would be easy, but they did say it would be worth it.

And just for clarification, I am not talking about people sharing their struggles, but about complaining. We all have different struggles in life and we all deserve support and compassion to get through them.

And like I said,there is a lot of things I need to be thankful for in my life as well. Pregnancy/parenting complaints just really upset me for obvious reasons.

Jobina said...

I think I just find the sentence a little harsh. Some days there is a fine line between sharing our struggles and complaining. Most of the time, to me at least, they sound very much the same. Personally I don't see it as all bad. There are the few people that have nothing good to say and yes, that grates on me, but most people I don't think complain because they are not thankful. I think often we complain because life is hard and because even though you have read up on something and talked about it with others who have already been through the same situation, being *in* the situation is 100% different. All of a sudden reality hits and life stands up and smacks you one, hard.
I'm glad that you are looking to be thankful and see your blessings and be humble with what you've been given. I guess I see these situations as places where we also need to be caring and gracious and patient with one another. Everyone has their own struggles.

Lindsey Dueck said...

That sentence is harsh, I know. But so is listening to people complain about that stuff.

We have to be careful that we are not masking our complaining by saying we are just sharing our struggles!

I don't believe complaining is helpful at all, no matter what the reason behind it. Life is hard, and I'm sure everyone has something to complain about, but that doesn't mean it is good.

I just found this verse:
Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

and this one:

Philippians 2:14-15 - Do everything without complaining or arguing,so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.

Anonymous said...

I can see both sides of it, I know that I'm susceptible to complaining when things are sucky, but the thing that exacerbates the whole complaining thing is Facebook! Ten years ago (or even five!) you might have heard some bitching from your friends about their issues, but now you see hundreds of friends complaining daily, weekly and even hourly on Facebook, about pregnancy, their kids, their jobs, and everything in between, and that can start to get overwhelming. People need to realize that Facebook is pretty public. Sure the people are your "friends", but things people say on Facebook they would never say in person. I think as Christians especially we need to set an example and be careful what we say and type, and remember to be thankful not just on holidays like thanksgiving and remembrance day. . .

Stacey said...

I have to be honest. I feel the same way as Jobina. I was really taken aback by that part of your post.

I totally get that some people complain about everything. I know I complain too. I also know it's not going to help me in any way. But you know what? We're ALL sinful. We all fail. We are also forgiven. Pointing out where everyone else is a complainer does not help.

I imagine that you have hard days, and you have admitted that. While your hard moments are not with kids (yet), that day may come. Please try to have a little grace.

Sarah said...

I have hummed and hauwed about posting a comment but I will. I to struggled with this sort of thing many years ago. When my dad was sick I struggled any time one of my friends said "I hate my parents", it made me incredibly angry (we were teenagers, they said it alot!). I just wanted my dad to survive, and my mom to be at home. Of course hindsight is twenty twenty and I came to a big realization:
It is all relative! Really my friends were angry with their parents about not being able to have a sleepover that weekend, or whatever, but at that point that was their worst experience in life. Sure I still think my dads cancer was probably worse then their lack of sleepover, but in there experience they had no chance to be able to relate to my situation, it was almost infathomable to them. It really is hard to compare one persons situation to the next, especially because each person walks their own path, and struggles with different things.
When people complain about their kids or their pregnancy, or that they stubbed their toe that really might be the biggest problem in their life right now. It might seem minor, insignificant, or completly unimportant, but it just might be huge in their lives. It may even seem insensitive to speak about around certian people. I do know that my friends, who "hated" their parents hugged me in the hallway as I cried because my dad was hullucinating, prayed for my family, or made sure I got mom cooked food every once and a while. They cared, but I don't think they ever understood what it felt like to go through that situation.
I am not saying that complaining is a good thing to do, but the truth is we all do it. It doesn't mean we are not thankful, but maybe it is a human way of asking others for encouragment, advice, or support. I learned that I had to be careful not to judge others for how they were feeling (I failed miserably at the time). Their feelings were vaild, their experiences vaild, and what they said wasn't meant to hurt me.

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