Sunday, May 04, 2014

A Failure

Back in January I posted that we were going back to Heartland. 

We were surprised how fast we got in, and even more surprised how fast they got us in for a cycle. Everything seems to be going smoothly. 

At our appt. the Doc went over IUI and IVF info, and was kind of trying to steer us towards IVF. We opted for IUI because it worked on the first try last time, surely it would work like that again. 

Well, not so much. I did about 13 days of injects, wasted 1000's of dollars and our cycle got cancelled. My body didn't respond to the meds at all. For Tallet I had 3 follicles that grew, this time I had nothing. 

We were fairly laid back about this cycle, assuming it would work but knowing in the back of our minds that we got incredibly lucky the first time. 

I was crushed. It was so much harder than I expected to have a failure. It is unreal how all the old feelings crop back up again. Infertility sucks, and the suckyness doesn't go away after you have one babe. 

This will be a struggle for the rest of our family growing years, and that is hard to accept. Friends around me continue to get pregnant with the greatest of ease. I thought it would be easier to deal with once I had a child of my own. But it isn't. 


Gina said...

Hugs and prayers. it's not easy.

Anonymous said...

I am one of those who gets pregnant so easily, but my sister doesnt. I feel sooo sad for you,.and yet, i admire your determination to have a family. May God bless you and enlarge your family.

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