Monday, October 29, 2012

Home For A Week!

I have so much to write about and so little time to write about it. It is amazing how a tiny little person can take up so much of your time!

The hospital stay was great. Our first night our nurse was very nice, but she was not very helpful with breastfeeding. They had to check his blood sugar a few times because it was on the low end. The nurse would let me try to get him to latch for a few minutes, and then get us to feed him formula. I barely slept that night, mostly because he was swaddled and I kept worrying about the blanket being over his mouth.

It was hard for me to sit up in bed, and I was still hooked up to IV and urinary catheter so getting out of bed wasn't an option. Eric had to get up and get him for me every time.

We had a lots of visitors in the hospital, it was nice and helped to pass the time. Every nurse I had after the first was was EXTREMELY helpful with breastfeeding. The second nurse I had got Tallet to latch right away, and every time after that.

Midway through the second day I got unhooked from everything. It was SO nice to be free!

Our second night was a lot smoother, still didn't get a tonne of sleep but more than the first night. I had a student nurse the third day, and in the morning she told me if everything went good we could go home that day. I was surprised because I assumed that I would have to stay 3 days with a c-section.

At around 4, after Tallet had a 45 minute feeding we got to go home. It was scary taking all the responsibility home. We made a quick stop at Babies R Us to get a nursing pillow and some no-scratch mittens. Tallet slept all the way home!

Our first night at home was rough. I had assumed I would get at least a couple hours of sleep, but I didn't get any. All Tallet wanted to do was nurse, he barely slept. They say the "cluster feeding" is supposed to happen the second night, but he saved it until the first. I wished we had stayed in the hospital. I wanted to call my mom. I didn't know what to do and I felt overwhelmed and inadequate.

We have been home for a week now today, and things are going alright. It is still hard to believe that this sweet little boy is ours, but at the same time it feels like he fits right in.

We have had a lot of visitors bringing food and gifts. The support has been great, but sometimes it makes it difficult when I am struggling to feed him under a cover. We have had a few good nights and a few rough nights. We are still trying to figure everything out.

Breastfeeding is going alright, but not as good as I could hope. It often takes me a while to get him to latch on properly, we often have 10-20 minute periods of "latch, suck 3 times, cry, repeat" which are frustrating and discouraging for me. It feels like I am not doing something properly. And then sometimes he will only eat for 5 minutes then fall asleep. It is especially bad at night when I just want him to have a good, big meal so he will sleep. Sometimes I think switching to bottle-feeding would be SO much easier, and I would just pump. But in the long run that would be a lot more work. And I know I am only 1 week into it, and they say it takes 4-6 weeks to establish breastfeeding, so I will stick it out. I am looking forward to the day it is easy and pain-free!

Tallet is learning to sleep in his bassinet, which can also be a challenge. Sometimes he will sleep really well in there for several hours, and sometimes he wants nothing to do with it. Again this is something that is frustrating for me, because I very much want a baby that is able to sleep on his own. And there is SO much advice out there, it is hard to know what is the right thing to do.

He goes through ALOT of diapers. He will not sleep or eat with a dirty diaper (I don't blame him at all), and sometimes it seems like he dirties one right after we change one. We are using cloth diapers, but only have 8 that fit him so we go through them pretty fast. All the other ones I have are too big and it leaks through them, and these are newborn sizes! I didn't realize I would have such a tiny baby. So half the time we are using pampers, but we really like our cloth diapers!

It has been a long week, and I am still very tired, but it has been a dream come true week! I am so incredibly thankful that God has give us Tallet. He is so much sweeter and so much cuter than we could have ever imagined and we are totally in love with him. We waited for so many years for him, and he is perfect.  God is so good.


Sarah said...

I just want to encourage you to keep going with the breastfeeding. I know how hard, tiring, exhausting, and frustrating it can be. Pumping really is harder, I remember days where all I did was pump and feed, pump and feed; once we figured it all out I was able to really relax and enjoy my boy! That being said I remember my lactation consultant giving me the advice that there might be time when my sanity was worth a bottle... G had some bottles and through our struggle they sometimes saved my sanity. We just finished a nursing session, at 18 months he is still a boobie monster, and hasn't had a bottle or formula since six weeks. Do what works and if you need it lean on Eric one night and get him to do a feed if you need. Sorry, you didn't really ask for advice but I know I needed support when we were struggling.

Lindsey Dueck said...

I have a lot of respect for you Sarah! I can't imagine pumping and finger feeding for 6 weeks, that must have been an incredible amount of work! We tried finger feeding once in the hospital and it did NOT go well!

I am thankful he does latch eventually. Sometimes he does without a problem, but sometimes it is a fight!

Stacey said...

I agree, Lindsey! I don't know if I would have had the strength to keep going like Sarah!

I think you're doing great too, Lindsey. I remember crying a lot after Rowan was born. And I wanted to give up breastfeeding too. I managed to stick it out for 10 months, and I'm glad I did :)

Sarah said...

I am no hero but the experience really did open my eyes to how difficult breastfeeding can be! Before Griffin my mom and sister in law had these magical breastfeeding babies... yeah not really the case most of the time!
It sounds like you and him just need to practice... and that takes some time. As long as he is gaining weight, having wet and dirty diapers (by the sound of it he is) then you are doing a fantastic job! Keep it up!!

Jobina said...

He's absolutely adorable and such a gift! All moms struggle with feeling unsure, inadequate and fearful at some time, we're taking care of another human being after all! We make decisions and feel so sure, then they respond differently than we were expecting and we doubt ourselves, it's so normal. But what is normal isn't what's always best...remind yourself on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis that what a child needs is food, shelter and above ALL love! God has given you a beautiful gift Lindsey, what ever feeding, diapering, sleeping decisions you make doesn't matter nearly so much as Tallet growing up knowing that he is loved. I'm *so* happy for you and Eric, blessings!

Ruth said...

Hey Lindsey - I'll join in and encourage you with the breastfeeding - in the long run it is SO much easier and more convenient! Of course, for some families bottle-feeding works out better, and you have to do what works for you, but I suspect that you will probably see improvement over time. It can take a while but it is worth it in my experience. Don't be shy about asking for a lot of help and support so you can get some sleep, rest, company, whatever. You have a LOT of post-partum hormones kicking around your body right now and sleep deprivation can make it so much more overwhelming. We had my mom and sister with us for the first two weeks and that was invaluable. I will also say that you are not doing anything wrong at all, it's just an adjustment period for you AND the little guy. I think the transition from womb to world has got to be one of if not the biggest in human experience! You're doing great, it's not always intuitive and definitely the range of advice is crazy but especially in the early weeks I wouldn't worry too much about establishing long-term habits and just go with whatever makes your lives easier. Tallet is just SO sweet by the way - oh, and what are the diapers that fit him right now?

Brittney said...

First, CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your precious baby boy, Tallet!!! Oh he is just gorgeous friend. What a blessing. I love the name you picked!

I remember those early days well..the sleeplessness, the joy, the breastfeeding and frustrations..I just want to encourage you as well that it does get better. Hang in there. I remember a good friend saying to give it three months and it really is true;) Things start to change for the better at that point. And something that really helped me with getting my son to latch was the nipple guard - dunno if you've tried that if it really worked for us! We will be using it again, God-willing. ((Hugs)) Will be praying for you sweet friend.

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