Happy Movember

This is what I get to look at for the next month. Well, it is actually shaved back from a handle bar to more of a straight "man's moustache" as he likes to call it. Whatever the case, it is large, thick and ugly. But also humorous at the same time. Anyone you know doing Movember?

Don't forget to turn your clocks back! Yay for sleeping in!

Baking Night

Eric was away this evening and I was all out of my good cookies so I decided to try out some new recipes from my Low GI book. I made Chewy Peanut Bars, Chocolate Drops, and Chocolate Almond Slices. I have to say, I am not overly thrilled with any of them. They are all kinda bland. Especially the Choc. Almond Sliced, they are almost bitter! The Chewy Peanut Bars are probably my favourite, but I haven't eaten a whole lot of them to decide if I like them a lot or not.

I feel like this whole night was a fail. Oh well. There is always another night!

Hockey

Tonight was my first hockey practice of the season. It was great to get all suited up, to skate around and to hang out with those ladies again. I really like them all.

The only downside is my feet. They started cramping up about 5 minutes in and progressively got worse. In fact my feet are still pretty crampy even right now.

I love playing, but I hate sucking. I just wish I could skate forwards and backwards with ease and to be able to handle the puck. I SO wish I would have played as a kid.

I guess I am going to pay fro Nov/Dec and then we will see what January brings!

Lil' Bro

The other day I did a photo shoot with my brother for my mom's Christmas cards. It was a lot of fun even though I had to bribe him with a box of almonds if he cooperated. He did great despite the fact I made him stand in cold water with bare feet on a cold day. My mom doesn't want me to post the ones for the card until after Christmas, and I am not done editing any of the other ones, but here is a sneak peak!

I love this picture because it looks like he is staring straight through the camera. Plus I love the contrast of the aged wood with the blue.

Even More IUI Stuff!

First thing this morning I got the call from one of the nurses from Heartland. I was so pumped to finally talk to her. I decided to do injectable stimulation because it has a high success rate. This means we will be cycling with the IVFers. And if I get over stimulated, then we can switch to IVF if we want, which we will probably do.

Then she asked if we would be interested in IVF in the future if needed. I said yes, so she put us on the IVF list as of the day we paid, so June 10th, 2011. Which is TOTALLY AWESOME! Usually the wait list is 8-12 months so it is awesome we got a head start. And we don't have to pay an additional sign up fee to get on the list. So this means that if we need to go to IVF, we won't have the long wait time.

She is sending out my forms and a prescription for the pill just incase I need to go on it. She said I would start my cycle around January 4th with insemination day around the week of the 23rd.

I am so glad to finally have some plans. I feel like this is finally going somewhere. That finally everything is falling into place.

Did I mention the nurse I spoke to was SUPER nice!

I am so thankful to God for the hope He continually gives. Please pray for us as we continue on this exciting journey!

More Exciting Phone Calls!

I called Heartland again today to leave my work number. They didn't call me back at work, but they did call Eric at home. They told him we would be in the January cycle. We have a appointment on December 7th to sign some forms and do some IUI training. I also have to let them know which CD I am on, and depending on that I might have to go one birth control pills to get my cycle to the right date. I am not excited about going on the pill again, but I know it is different this time around.

The nurse said we have to decide whether we want to do oral or injectable meds. I am leaning towards injectable because I know they're more effective and I don't want to waste time. They are more expensive, but I am pretty sure our heath care plan will cover it!

The nurse is supposed to call me at work tomorrow with more details. I can't wait!

Weekend Recap

Dress shopping Saturday was a lot of fun. More fun than I expected. I was a bit nervous to be the one trying on dresses because I didn't think they would have my size. But they did, and then some. I got into every dress no problem. I loved trying on all those pretty dresses. It was hard to pick, but then we settled on three that we liked and wrote the style numbers down. So far the plan is that all three bridesmaids will hve the same color but whatever dress suits them best. We did not buy anything yet, it is too far away and who knows if I will needs a lot of belly room! :)

After dress shopping we went to a few others stores and then out for supper. Then we drove from Fargo to Grand Forks, dropped stuff off at the hotel and did a bit more shopping. We hit up the pool/hot tub, watched some classic halloween kids movies and went to bed.

This morning Eric picked me up just outside of Rosenort where he was for night. We headed to the city for lunch, some future house planning, and we watched Moneyball. It was a great movie!

After that we had a bible study with friends. It is so great to get together with other believers to discuss the things of God. It always leaves me feeling refreshed, renewed and encouraged. God definitely intended for us (all followers) to meet together and worship Him like that!


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Dress Shopping!

I am on my way to Fargo to go bridesmaid dress shopping. I am the maid of honor for my cousin Mallory! I am so exited to start shopping and planning. I am especially excited to plan her shower!
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The Call

We finally got the call from Heartland! Unfortunately they called yesterday and we didn't get the message till today. But that is okay because they are not back in their office until Tuesday anyways! They were calling to book some appointments, so you know what that means!! An IUI soon!! I am super pumped and Tuesday can't come fast enough.
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SOLD!

Today we officially sold our trailer.

I am happy it is sold, but bummed about the amount we got for it and the fact that we didn't give anyone else interested in it a chance to make us an offer. But there is nothing I can do about that now.

I am trying to focus on the happy fact that in just over two months I will have my very own house with closets! YAY!

10 in 10

So, I got some new info from some messages boards. Heartland does IUI cycles the same time they do IVF cycles and we missed the October one. :(

Apparently the next one is December/January so hopefully we will be part of that one.

In one way this is a good thing, it gives me all of November for my 10 in 10 campaign! I would like to have at least 10 Partylite shows in November, with $10,000 in sales. With 25% commission, that will give me $2500 for our first IUI. 

So if you or anyone else you know wants to have a party, PLEASE let me know. I can also do an unlimited amount of book parties! If you don't want to have a party, every order helps! There is a really good sale going on for all of November so I can send all the info to anyone interested!

New Plan

Thanks ladies for all your tips and encouragement!

I think this is going to be my new plan. Jobina suggested I do what had worked for me in the past. And what has worked the best is Thin Within and my naturopath prescribed diet. I am starting a 12 week Thin Within bible study in our community as soon as possible, and I am going back to a low GI diet.

Also, like a few of you suggested I am not buying anything unhealthy any more. Actually I have been doing that for a while but in the last week let it slip a little bit.

I am so excited to get that bible study going. I am hoping I can get a few ladies to join with me, but even if I can't I will be doing it!

The Packing Has Begun

Today we spent some time packing up our yard. Seeing as how we will be moving in the winter, we didn't really want to dig through all the snow to find our stuff. We are storing everything in an empty barn at the farm until we move to our new place.

We also packed up several boxes of inside stuff that we can live without for a few months and that will be ok to freeze. Our pile of stuff on the barn looks huge already, and it isn't even the beginning of what we have to move! It is kind of a scary thought!

We are hoping to get a few more boxes packed up this week because we are having an open house this weekend. We have quite a few people interested in our place, so we thought it would be easier to just have one day that everyone could come and check things out!

More Struggles

Seeing as how I am on a roll will all these feelings....

I am really struggling with this weight thing. I so badly want to be healthy and fit, but I just can't seem to stick to anything. Some people would say that I just don't want it bad enough, but that is not true. I feel like I have no control when it comes to eating. I try and I will do so good for a few hours or days, and then it will all come crashing down. It doesn't matter what kind of shakes I drink, as long as I keep eating 40 big feet candies in one sitting nothing will change.

My diet is a lot healthier than it used to be, thats for sure. But I still eat too much junk. I feel like I have no restraint. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to change. I don't know how to stop. I feel like I will never change. I will always be fat.  I hate that thought. I don't want that to be true. I want to be one of those success stories, but I don't know how. Honestly I am tired of trying. Maybe I should just accept that I will be like this forever?!?

Please, if you have any ideas of what will help me, please let me know. 

Today's Struggles

I'll admit, my posts have been a little superficial lately. I haven't really given myself much time to sit down and write a proper post.

Today I am struggling with frustrastion, bitterness and jealously. You think after all of this time I would be able to deal with these feelings properly. I should have enough practice. I probably need professional help. So please excuse me if this post feels rant-y.

I am frustrated because I feel no one understands me. Some people pretend to, but things they say let me know that they really don't get it. I am thankful for their effort to try though.

I am frustrated because I am always waitng. Waiting for 4 whole years. Waiting for a phone call. Waiting for an appointment. Waiting for the test results. Waiting for CD14. Waiting for 14DPO. Waiting for this pain to go away. Waiting for an answer. Waiting for some direction.

Right now is the middle of another baby explosion. It seems that alot of people like to announce their pregnancies in the fall. I already know of about 10, and I am sure there will be more. I SO badly want to be part of this one.

I can't stop thinking about how I can manipulate my circumstances for a different outcome. Like maybe if I change my attitude God will answer my prayer. Or maybe if I pray about this He will. Or maybe if I do this He will. Or maybe if I pray this way He will. Or maybe if I keep my mouth shut He will. Or maybe if I am extra nice to this person He will. Or maybe if I help out that person He will. Or maybe if I pray harder He will. Maybe if I share my struggle with others He will.

I know logically that God doesn't work like that. You cannot manipulate the maker. But I keep letting those thoughts run through my head.

Also I keep letting myself believe that it will be a special circumstance when I get pregnant. Like I will get to tell Eric on his birthday, or on fathers day, or our anniversary or something like that. Or now that we are getting a new place I will all of a sudden get pregnant because of that. Or when my friend gets pregnant I will to so we can be pregnant and have babies together. But none of that has worked out for me either.

I am so helpless. There is nothing left for me to do. I have tried it all. I am powerless. I cannot become pregnant on my own strength or will.

I am so thankful that is not the end of it. I am so thankful that there is a loving God who gives me hope. A hope for the future. A hope for a family. I have done all I can do, and now all that is left is to surrender it to God.

"Take it God. My infertility is in Your hands. I am done trying on my own. "

Scattered Seeds

Today I went to the Scattered Seeds craft sale in Winnipeg with my friend Peggy! I sure love craft sales. There was a lot of great stuff for sale. I got some Christmas shopping done and a few cool things for myself. I will share more about them another day, but I just got home and I am tired and AF just arrived this morning. 

Leona Grey

I just love Leona Grey. She brings so much joy to our family. She is full of energy and playful. She is such a doll in front of the camera. She is a fast learner. She loves cookies and will do anything for one. She has brought the playfulness back to my other two dogs. Paris and Fleury don't like each other a whole lot. They never played together. I think they just have an agreement to peacefully co-exsist. But with Grey in the mix, they are playing all the time. I even caught just the two of them playing together the other day, without Grey! This was unheard of until she was born!

Grey really doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She is kind to all people old and young. It is kinda cool to have a puppy since they were born.

My Kids

Oatmeal Cookies

I made these a week or so ago with Sugar Twin Granulated Brown sugar and they were alright, but has a really weird taste to them. So I found my own brown sugar substitute recipe (1 cup granulated sweetener and 1/4 cup sugar free maple syrup = 1 cup brown sugar sub.) and these ones turned out fantastic! They taste so good you can hardly tell they are healthy! This is one of my favourite Low GI recipes so far!

2 cups old fashioned rolled oats
3/4 cup whole wheat flour (I used 1/2 almond flour)
1/2 cup wheat bran
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
pinch of salt
1 cup brown sugar substitute
1/2 cup non-hydrogenated soft margarine
1/4 cup liquid egg (I just used 1 whole large egg)
1/4 cup water
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup dried currents (Lets be honest, currents are gross so I used semi sweet chocolate chips, but only a 1/4 cup) OPTIONAL

1. Preheat oven to 375 F
2. Mix oats, flour, bran, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt in medium bowl.
3. In a large bowl, beat the brown sugar sub., margarine, egg, water and vanilla. Slowly add oat mixture to bowl and mix until combine. Add currents chocolate chips and stir to combine.
3. Spoon onto baking sheets lined with parchment paper and flatten slightly. Bake until firm and golden, about 8 min. Let cool on rack!

They freeze well!

YUMMY YUM YUMS!

My Day In Pictures