Monday, October 25, 2010

I Hate This

I got my hopes really high this time around. Too high. Deep down inside I knew better, but I just though if I stayed positive it would make a difference. But surprise, surprise, there is no magic formula. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do, what you think or don't think. Sorry "The Secret", but you don't get what you want by thinking positive and imagining yourself having it!

My chart was perfect, so I though for sure it would be my turn this time around. Not the case. And the higher your hopes are, the harder the fall.

I just can't do this ups and downs game any more. I am sick of taking Clomid, has anyone really had success after 6 failed tries? We have 3 more rounds to try before our doctor will let us move on, and I just think it is wasting time. I know God can work a miracle, but I am not holding my breath any more. Maybe you think it is "bad luck" to say stuff like that, but I don't believe in luck. God will bless us with a baby when He is good and ready and there is nothing I can do to speed it up.

I just hate this feeling.


Anonymous said...

Awe, I'm so so sorry. I know that feeling all too much, especially after a new "plan" getting all hopeful and having everything crash down. Hang in there.

Jobina said...

I'm sorry you're on this rollercoaster Lindsey, that's such a hard place to be. (((BIG HUGS)))

Melissa said...

* Hugs*

Mrs. Hammer said...

I'm so sorry :( Could you talk to your doc about doing an IUI (interuterine insemination) with your clomid where they trigger you with hcg? That way you can get the timing right and your doc will be monitoring your follicles to ensure you are making enough/at all? I'd hate for you to bee on clomid for that long without making some changes and trying something new.

© diary of a crazy person. Powered by