Saturday, October 09, 2010

Keeping Hope Alive

I have been fairly pessimistic about this 6th Clomid cycle. I had convinced myself that it was a waste of time and would never work anyways. Maybe it was an act of self preservation. Usually, the higher I let my hopes get, the harder I fall. So I completely wrote off this cycle, instead focusing on the future and what we would try next.

But something has changed in me the last few days. I am doing everything I possible can think of to conceive this month. I am doing my part, and the rest is in God's hands. I trust him. And with God all things are possible, so what right do I have to completely write off this cycle. Just because the last 5 rounds didn't work, doesn't mean that God can't work His miracles! Of course He can! So my hopes are high. I am excited. I am believe this cycle will be the one. And if God decided it isn't, then I know He will be there to catch me when I fall. He always is.

Also, I have been debating how much to share on my this blog. On my other one, I shared everything because I did not know anyone in real life, so not worries about information spreading. But if I share everything on here, it will be obvious when I am pregnant, even if I don't say it. I am not sure if I want everyone to know 4 weeks in, because with PCOS there is a higher risk of miscarriage. But I would really love to share everything. So for now, if you suspect anything, please don't spread it around until I officially announce something. Thanks!

With that being said, here we are, smack dab in the middle of Clomid round 6 with the craziest OPK positive I have ever seen! Woohoo! Keeping the dream alive!


Stacey said...

It's obviously totally up to you what you want to share, but I would say, that for myself, I found it to be a huge encouragement to me when people knew I was pregnant and I miscarried. If I had waited til 3 months or whatever, I'd be grieving alone, and you know, sharing how I felt was the biggest step in healing. I had so many loving friends and family surround me during that time, and if they hadn't known, they wouldn't be there for me in the same way.

Praying for your miracle this round :)

Lindsey Dueck said...

Thanks Stacey! That is really good to know from someone who has been through it!

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