Thursday, December 01, 2011

The Start!

I went in for some baseline CD2 bloodwork today. Actually it was CD3 because I forgot my forms at home yesterday. I also had to do a urine pregnancy test. Seems so silly when you are on CD3.

They called me an hour after I was at the lab to tell me the test was negative, and that I would be starting birth control on the 4th. I will take it for a whole month until January 4th. This is the very first step in our IUI and I am excited to be doing something, but not excited to be taking birth control pills. I really want nothing to do with those ever again, but I know they are necessary in this process.

In other infertility news, a woman that I know sent me an interesting Facebook message the other day. I had messaged her to ask if she wanted to host a Partylite show and that's it. In turn, she messaged me back and was wondering if we had ever considered that maybe it was God's plan for my womb to be closed and maybe it was for a reason. She was also wondering why the fertility treatments were so expensive and maybe we should check out how much they are in the US. She also mentioned that she wanted to tell me all this because she didn't want to be one of those people taking behind my back, as she has received some comments about me.

The first few things didn't bother me so much, but it was the fact that people are talking behind my back about my infertility. I am *SO* curious to know what they are saying! What is there to say about someone who is struggling. Do they think I shouldn't talk about it so much? Do they think I shouldn't pursue treatments? And why? Would they say the same things to someone who was sick? Like maybe it was God's plan for them to be ill and maybe they shouldn't go to the doctor?

NO! I firmly believe that God has blessed medical staff with knowledge and skills so that His people can be in turned bless through it! After all, God prefers to work through His children than on His own.

I told this lady to please let those people who have issued with what I am doing to give me a call. I would love to chat with them.


Stacey said...

Great response. You know I wish you all the best :)

Anonymous said...

Oh Lindsey... I'm sorry. It's not so easy to just "go to the states". Many of the treatments are MORE money there! People need to think before they speak or walk a mile in your shoes first... Hugs.

All in His Perfect Timing said...

Wow. That really irks me that the lady would say all of that. I think its the right thing to do to have people contact you directly. This just blows my mind. You should be able to talk about infertility or whatever. I don't think you're out shouting things from the rooftops or anything. I'm so sorry. It never feels good when you know people are out there saying things about you.

Jennifer said...

You are so strong, Lindsey. I pray that God will continue to give you the words to deal with people who are so ignorant of what you are going through.

Nicole said...

I am TOTALLY with you on your response about pursuing treatments. These kinds of ideologies from stupid people really get me fired up! Several years ago (when I was just a lurker), I read a blog where the girl posed the questions “was she being punished by God [with infertility] because she had not always been a good church-going girl?”. She also asked for opinions about the ethicality/morality of assisted reproductive technologies (ART) because she had received some hurtful comments about the rightness or wrongness of IVF. I discovered that I have powerful opinions about these two issues, so I wrote them down in my journal.
Infertility as punishment from God? No. Although infertility certainly feels like punishment, it is NOT sent for that reason. Anyone who has been through infertility and knows just how raw the heartache is would agree that it is not something you would wish upon even your very worst enemy. Therefore, I cannot believe that a loving Father in Heaven would use it as a form of punishment on His children. It is certainly a HEAVY trial (one I tell myself is intended for my personal growth), but not a punishment.
In my personal situation, I’ve long felt that He does want me to have my own biological children (and now I do finally have one of them!), but that-for me and the experiences and growth that is in His plan for me-He expects me to work harder than most for my babies through IVF. Everyone has their struggles in whatever form they may come and this is mine. It's been a big pill to swallow and many times I have been very angry with God for it, but I have come to know after years and years of prayers, blessings, pondering, etc. that it has nothing to do with being punished. It is just one of the trials that was planned for my life’s design.
Infertility treatments as immoral or unethical? In response, let me pose this question: If someone is having a heart attack and there is a defibrillator nearby, who in their right mind wouldn't utilize that technological equipment to try and help?
To me, suggesting that you shouldn’t pursue ART because it’s ‘wrong’ is no different than saying that using a defibrillator on a patient who’s having a heart attack is ‘wrong’- afterall, perhaps he is just meant to die and we should not intervene.
Wrong! I'm so with you that we have the technology for a reason, and I believe it is a gift from God who inspired intelligent men and women to develop it for the benefit of His children on the earth. Besides, if you really are intended to adopt your children and not to physically bear your own biological children, I’m pretty confident that by pursuing ART you won’t get a quick one by Him and mess up the plan. You are not taking anything away from Him. Heavenly Father still controls the outcome, regardless of how much scientific help you enlist in the endeavor.
I am not saying that all infertile couples should or are obligated to first pursue medical intervention. Adoption is a beautiful option for those who are afflicted with infertility. But if any infertile couple chooses ART... they should never ever let anyone tell them that trying to improve the function of their body, especially for such a sacred purpose as bearing precious children, is immoral or unethical or a sin.
What a ridiculous proposition.
Of course there are ethical/moral dilemmas within ART (such as how to handle 'excess' embryos, etc.) and I do have my own opinions about that. But those are for individual couples to make and I'm not going to press my moral position on any, especially with someone walking such a delicate emotional line as with IVF.
Plus your reproductive life and choices are NOBODY'S business except you and your DH. I go crazy when people try to butt into my repro life. I like how you responded to the lady. AGH! Anyway, there was my soap box speech :) Good luck with the upcoming IUI!!

Lindsey Dueck said...

Thanks ladies! I didn't think my response was too far off!

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