Saturday, July 23, 2011

Patience In Waiting

There was a reason my infertility blog was called Waiting. That is all I seem to be doing. Waiting for an appointment. Waiting for results. The Two Week Wait. On the waiting list. Waiting for a phone call. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

I used to pray for patience all the time. And you know what they say, when you ask for patience, God doesn't just give it to you, He puts you in situations where you can practice patience. That is all fine and dandy, but never did I think my patience would be put to the test at this level.

When I think back to how I used to be just a few short years, and every months ago, I think I can now call myself a patient person. I know there are times when I am not at all, but as a whole I am pretty patient.

But to be honest, I am tired of waiting. I don't want any more patience, or more specifically I don't need any more practice! I just want a baby in my arms.

( I know what many of your are thinking. Clearly I am in need of more patience because I am tired of waiting. But I think there is a difference between being impatient and being tired of waiting, especially in regards to infertility. I am spent. Done. Exhausted. I don't have the mental capacity to be impatient. I am just tired.)

AF showed up this morning. Another month down the drain, but another month closed to an IUI. We have an appointment on Monday at Heartland for some testing. I am hoping they can do it in the middle of AF.

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